I wanted nothing more than your company
And tried to have no expectations,
But your eyes cut through and burned
The image of you and me
Making paper cranes and daisy chains.
Though I felt the paint was forced on the canvas.
I was desperate for it to be destiny
When the rain found its way to my home
And we found ourselves soaked with
The unspoken affection
For the space between us on the couch
But I took a chance and tried to fill the void.
I never regarded it as rejection
But instead as fear of sudden change
Your looks no longer burned with
Longing to become “Us” rather than
“You and I” vanished in the afterimage.
Mutual understanding had been a friend;
We often found ourselves together
It wasn’t unfortunate
Nor was it unwarranted.
You and I promised each other that
The void between us would neither shrink nor grow
But then, in the evils of psychology
And my attraction to your portrait,
I felt this disconnection.
I embrace the space between
But I can’t trust myself to not fall
For illusions of your fingers between mine.
I wander through the back alleys of my brain
Where I justify my happiness.
I categorize myself
And prioritize all things
Above the half empty heart I bear
I fear I’ll do this until the end of time.
I wish I was the cloud on that summer night
Whose rain flooded the ground and served to
Clear the ambiguity.
I would turn to dust and float
Among paper cranes and daisy chains
And bear no remorse, for I can’t craft them myself